Wander Girl

Well, if you are still following along, you know I have finally made it to Salt Lake City. Here, I hit the jackpot again. I found a house with just one roommate, Vanessa. Vanessa was an awesome roommate.

For a time, life seemed to be rolling along smoothly. I was making friends, had a good ward and things were less bumpy for a time. Vanessa and I eventually moved in with a third girl Maquel who ended up being another one of the miracles in my life. At first we were at odds with each other and then recognized some things we had in common and were able to connect on a deeper, more personal level. It created a friendship that has lasted (despite some bumps). I can’t believe this is the only picture of all three of us I can find.

I started dating another guy and the problems seemed to start up again. We went on a few dates in person before he was sent to Hawaii in with the military. After chatting for months, I visited him in Hawaii when he was stationed there, as a helicopter mechanic. This is when the next big Lupus episode hit.

We started the visit on Oahu and wiithin just a few hours of landing I had a stroke. We were jeeping in the mountains and I couldn’t speak clearly or stop shaking. He rushed me to the hospital, and they immediately gave me something and I fell asleep.

When I woke up again, I wasn’t really sure what was happening. I was told I had a stroke. I texted my previous home teachers in Provo to ask for prayers but didn’t really know what else to do. I had the local bishop and some missionaries come in and give me a blessing and he would visit me every day after he finished his shift at work. I ended up in the hospital for 3 weeks in Hawaii (talk about a fun out of network charge) and when I was finally released was able to stay for an extra few days, in order to actually be able to enjoy some time on the island again. I will say, the first Hawaii visit was far superior to the second.

This was also when I was told I had a secondary condition, called Antiphospholipid syndrome which is described as the following, because it is a rare condition that many don’t know about. “An autoimmune disorder in which the immune system mistakenly produces antibodies and attacks the normal proteins in the blood. This results in increase risk of blood clots in legs, kidneys, lungs and brain.”

In some ways it is similar to Lupus, in that it is a disease that the blood is affected. At this time I was told I would need to be put on an additional medication, called Warfarin, which is a blood thinner, and since this is a lifelong condition, I would likely need to be on this medication the rest of my life or I would risk additional strokes, blood clots or other medical conditions.

This stroke has unfortunately made it hard for me to remember certain time periods of my life. It as though certain parts have been totally erased. Which is why sometimes if someone asks me about something I have to really concentrate to remember, or I simply don’t remember at all.

Due to these new medications, I was put on, I was told there was a good chance I would not be able to have children. At the time, it was devastating, especially since I was dating someone again. However, it is amazing how quickly the Lord was able to soothe my soul.

Almost immediately I was struck with a feeling of peace. The guy I was dating at the time was adopted and was able to talk to me about adoption and what a special thing it can be for those who can’t have children and for the children who are adopted. I think that was much of the reason he was in my life when he was, to help assure me that there was still hope.

One of my greatest dreams in life has always been to be a mother, but now I understand that there are many different ways to be a mother figure to someone.