Woman, Why Weepest Thou?

As many of my friends and family know, the past few months, I have had a hard time making it through an entire church meeting without weeping. Last night, I was listening to a podcast on Come Follow Me as I was falling asleep, and this line hit me. Hard.

The Savior, when he was resurrected, appeared first to a woman, Mary. In the podcast, they explain that only one word was spoken that caused her to instantly recognize Him for who He was. It was her name. The podcaster explained it as the most beautiful single word ever spoken by the Savior. Why? Because it was so intimate and personal. A little over a year ago I was asked to sing a song in my class of sisters(Relief Society) in church. The song I chose was Certain Women by Shawna Edwards. I stumbled and cried through the entire song, but those words have been imprinted in my brain ever since.

It wasn’t a coincidence that I chose this song just a short time before some of the hardest months of my life so far.

I have been struggling to see His path for me and even sometimes to Hear Him and see His hand in my life. However, this song ends with the words, “I am certain that He lives.” And while I struggle to feel and see Him with me at all times, the truth of the matter is this. I am certain, and I am sure, and I know He knows my name and my heartache. In a world moving ever away from divinity, that is one thing I can not deny. I know he is reaching out with his hand ever extended towards me, saying, “Heidi, I know you, little sister.” I did all this so I could understand EXACTLY how you feel.

In talking to both my parents and a friend yesterday, I was reminded that the miracles are there for the taking. We just have to ask for them and expect them to happen. I think often we believe this, but for whatever reason, we are too afraid to ask for that miracle that we need.

So, “Heidi, why weepest thou?” “Why do ye seek the living faith among the dead hearts and closed minds if this world? He is not here, He is risen to bring the world hope for a better day. He is risen to cleanse of infirmities, illnesses, and heartache. To wash away sin and despair. “Heidi” or any one of you still reading, “insert name here” Why seek ye living faith among the unbelievers? Why are we allowing our faith and hope to be dimmed by those who seek to hide their innate, God-given light from the world, but instead hide it under a bushel for fear of men?