Wander Girl

Stress is a many splendor thing.  Over the past few months, I’ve moved home and essentially started over.  Fortunately I have friends who are still around at home, but due to distance and time, relationships have dwindled as they do. No matter how much you want to take relationships with you  through your lifetime, sometimes you have to take a different trail and find yourself a lifetime away from where you were. Even more interesting is, when you get to your destination, whether old or new, you find yourself learning things you never expected to.

1. Relationships, even ones that have deteriorated over time, are still beautiful, fulfilling, and can bring peace and comfort through reconnection.

2. The people who want to be in your life will be. I feel this is true for the most part. There are people in my life I wish I had made a greater effort to stay connected to. But if they are meant to be in it, they will be.

3. Hard work and working hard are not the same thing. Perseverance and endurance are not the same, and grief passes eventually.

4. Walking away is sometimes the only way to preserve your sanity, to heal, and to get new perspectives. 

5. Healing of any kind takes a massive amount of introspection.

I guess what I’m saying is, things aren’t easy, they never have been for me. However, I heard once, if you are suffering, it’s a sign that God wants to talk to you and you are on His mind. I don’t believe most suffering comes from God, but I do believe He allows it so that we can come to him for help carrying our burdens. Things do get better. Even if you are angry with Him, talking to Him is therapeutic.

I am still searching for more permanent work. However, I do have 3 part-time opportunities with a possible 4th in January.

I am still searching for answers in my health. My blood tests have been therapeutic or too thin every time it’s been tested, which is such a stark difference to Utah. I am beginning to believe the altitude may have had an effect on it.

I have had an EEG, EKG, Echocardiogram, and a test to see if I still had APL. I was even tested for cancer. I am waiting on a recommendation for a neurologist. Have a Nephrologist appointment scheduled. I have seen a Hemotologist, Cardiologist, the Coumadin clinic, and I have an appointment with my Rheumatologist. It is set for February.

I have accepted two callings at church and will be sustained and set apart for the second Sunday. I have been able to travel a little to other areas and participate in worship with new friends.

I am working on seeing things as opportunities instead of as struggles.

I have lost between 20-25 lbs by walking, eating smaller portions, and cutting back on soda and fast food. I’m excited to continue making progress.