Wander Girl

I love that we openly talk about personality traits that are toxic or healthy now, instead of pretending these traits are something that either don’t exist or dont matter. Ironically, in the next few days I was going to talk about some things that have been circling in my mind, and they relate to mental, physical and emotional health in relationships that you allow to continue to exist in your life.

Some relationships are harder to understand than others , for example, parental relationships that can become unhealthy, especially as children turn into adults with different ideas about how to live than the way they were raised.

I grew up as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, I am still a member, but I don’t do things the exact same way I was raised to do them. I listen to podcasts as well as read a few verses a day. I blog online instead of keeping a hand-written journal.

I am overweight, and not the perfect model woman that everyone believes makes the best trophy wife ** hint** I have no desire to be a trophy wife. I have a job that hardly pays me what I am worth, and am struggling to make ends meet. I have acquired some debt, because of my immense health and employment struggles, and I am now living at home with my parents.

Living with the people who raised you brings an entire new dynamic into play. They expect you to be the exact same version of the child they raised. I have spent as much time out of their care as i did in their care, so my ideas, my priorities, my vision o who I want to has changed and does not live up to what or where I was expected to be.

The hardest part of baring the last knowledge is that, things didn’t work out the way I thought or expected them to either. I am not thrilled with my position and I’m doing what I can to change it.

Being consistently berated, looked down on or judged for being a new version of yourself creates a internal conflict. Do I run from the new version I have created of myself, or do I hold tight to my new sel and discard the person everyone expects me to be?

These internal conflicts can lead to feelings of depression, exclusion, embarrasment and even shame or guilt for not being how everyone expects you to be.

Mental health, especially in women, in an increasingly popular topic of discussion. But, this must be applied to every human on planet earth. No matter what you believe yourself to be, everyone of us experiences very real hurt, shame, powerlessness, despair and even joy. This is not a woman or man expression, it is a human expression.

So what can we as individuals do to elimiate the power these flag bearers have in our lives? Whether we choose to continue an association with them or not, there are things that can be done to help us ensure that these people don’t have control over our emotions and our experiences.

We have t0 choose each day to say, it does not matter what you think of me. THIS IS HARD! I am a people pleaser, its inante in me, I want people around me to be happy, I don’t like living in a state of distress.

I am going to choose to now to disregard the ideas I know are not true about myself. I Choose to see the good in myself and others. I am capturting all the green flags that I want to see in a partner and trying to cultivate them into myself.

What green/red flags do you see in your own personality or the personalities around you? How can you choose to cherish the relationships that lift you up and discard the relationships that drag you down without completely removing the individual from your life. Or, if that person needs to be removed from your life, how can you do this in a healthy way for everyone involved?